from brunch to fiddles

About 2 weeks ago, I had brunch with a beautiful friend. Her name is Cassandra, but I call her Cassy. She is one of the most sweet, authentic people I've met in California and I just love spending time with her! However, working opposite schedules makes that really hard to do, so after a few weeks of back and forth trying - we had a date. My favorite part was giving her this hilarious cat mug which made me think of her instantly when I saw it in the store! She gives me so much by her friendship, I wanted to give her a little something in return.

Which makes what happened after our brunch make so much sense. I left feeling encouraged to live authentically. To live in the peace that God gives me, and not in the chaos that others try to add to my life. And quite simply, live the desires of my heart. Maybe this sounds strange to you, but doing things that I want to do can be hard for me sometimes. It's like being in a constant state of guilt for every thought, desire or decision I make. ITS EXHAUSTING and not from God. 

God calls us to live a life of freedom in Him. Does that mean living in sin and thinking, "it's ok, God loves me and will forgive me?" NO. (Galatians 5) But it does mean trusting in your Creator and Provider, and knowing that He is molding you into His image. It means believing that He is good and has not left you to figure out this life on your own - He is with you everyday, all the time, leading and speaking. And you know what, I want to be ready to listen. But I can't listen if I'm constantly in my own head full of unnecessary guilt.

So getting back to our brunch date, I was feeling encouraged to listen to God's leading and to the needs of my heart. As a result, on a totally unplanned visit to Loews on my way home- I bought a fiddle fig! 

This plant is one I've been wanting to get for 2 years. To be honest, my desire is to have plants in every room of our home because I love the life it brings in to a space. But, I kept putting it off because of bills, travel, almost moving twice, guilt over spending money on something I could totally just kill, and the list goes on and on. But this whole time I was neglecting something I truly wanted in our home. A simple tree - one that could grow tall and beautiful. So I bought the tree! But just a few days later it started to not look so good.

The day after getting the fiddle we went to Phoenix for the weekend (totally unplanned and spontaneous) and upon our arrival at home this is what we see: two browned and black leaves! I was bummed but didn't freak out because I read these trees can be tricky. So I moved it away from the widows and across the room where it could still get lots of light but not right next to it.

One week later, she looked happier in this spot! But I felt something was still wrong. So I decided I would let the roots dry out.

...and this was today, cutting off the dead leaves.

Pruning the dead parts for the sake of the whole. Cutting off the damage so it could thrive.

And then it came me...The clearest message from God's heart to mine:

There is healing in the pruning.

Maybe I wouldn't have received such a clear picture of what God was saying if I never bought the fiddle. I don't know, but what I do know is trusting in God's work in me gave me the space to live in peace, and buy something God used to speak to me in the end. 

He is great, He is good and He is near. Just trust Him! I'm preaching to myself too. You can trust Jesus.

Amen.