white as snow

"...Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow..." Isaiah 1:18

On February 1st my discipleship & spiritual formation class went on a 7 hour solitude retreat at the University of St. Mary, about 45 minutes away from the city. We arrived at 8:30 a.m. and stayed til 3:00 pm for a time of solitude and rest with God. We could not speak or have any technology with us; even at lunch when we all ate together in silence. I overheard one guy in the cafeteria say to his friend, "This is the quesiest group of people I have ever seen!" I laughed a little at that comment, but it's so true. When will you ever see a group of twenty somethings together at a retreat without speaking a word? It is unlikely. But this day is one I don't ever want to forget. 

The campus was so beautifully covered in snow. It was snowing off and on the entire day, so walking around from building to building was cold & wet, but stunning. I didn't want to leave without taking a few photos so I asked my professor if I could have my phone as I took a walk. Smiling she said yes, as long as I didn't use it otherwise. I was so happy. 

Solitude & silence is something Mrs. Kane talks about a lot, and after this weekend I have experienced how important it really is to quiet yourself and focus on God. This really gives space for you to listen to what Christ is calling you to that day - to release and to receive from Him. I didn't realize how saturated my life is in entertainment and media before this day. To my surprise, physically not having my phone with me for so many hours was so freeing. When I did have it for pictures I kept wanting to turn it off because I felt the difference of having it verses not. 

The distractions in our lives are so heavy. But Jesus asks us again and again to give our burdens to Him, and He will give us rest (Matthew 11:28-30). In silence it was hard for me to quiet my mind, but in this I became so aware of my sin and depravity - and at the same time became even more aware of Jesus' love for me. Honestly, it was hard for me to just receive that love from Him without doing a thing. But I want to hold on to this truth with my entire being. 

Jesus loves you and me, period. & I believe he patiently waits for us to acknowledge His presence every day. 

I leave this post with words from Brother Lawrence from his book Practicing His Presence.

"Dear sister [and brother], repair the lost time. Return with full assurance, to the very One who authored mercy and created grace. Return to your Father who always, at any time, is so utterly willing to receive you. More: He will receive you with the deepest affections."

"And how can we pray to Him without being with Him? 

And how can we be with Him without thinking of Him often? 

And how can we think of Him often without forming the holy habit of being in His presence?"