Cheers to 2021!

1 retiro do casados in the Poconos simply being together with some of our favorite people, big and small
2 trips taken this year where every flight got delayed, and they were worth every hiccup.

3.1 miles run in Hoboken for our first Turkey Trot 5k with friends, and my mom's first 5k ever! So proud!

4 months with Vovo living with us, telling stories from the past and singing hymns every day along with

5 kindergarteners in our Breakout Class & all the kids who also love to sing and make our hearts happy.

6 x 7 = 42 songs in our first Christmas playlist with friends! Some of whom were there to see the...

7 hot air balloons that seemed like they'd rise into the air but gave us a light show instead LOL

8 months of Sisterhood with many beautiful ladies sharing conversations, food, tears, prayers and laughs.

9 minute long voice memos were common between Erin & I with so much love + wisdom in-between them.

10 beautiful years of marriage celebrated where it all began, Chicago & in our favorite home yet, SoBe!

11 different exhibits to walk by before seeing the Obama Portraits in person, and they did not disappoint!

12 months of seeing God move through many amazing people at CCP and point people to Jesus plus...

13 weeks of gratitude journaling on the journey of thanking Him in all things, with so much grace.

14 thousand average steps walked every time we visit NYC bc after all this time, it's still our thing.

15 lattes a month at Sihana between the girls! Probably more, thanks to D & K for making it a second home.

16 deep breaths before I felt I wouldn't pass out in front of everyone at Burn (thanks Julie! LOL)

17 times we reconsidered watching Survivor this season, only to remember how much we love it!

18 books on my reading list I did not finish, but I did spend a lot of time listening to...

19 songs on repeat! I Thank God, Revivals in the Air, and Gratitude to name a few. We had about...

20 weeks of Lovely Day CrossFit which blessed our bodies, hearts and souls. And finally...

21 + 12 weeks into the year I received a promise from God that I will hold in my heart forever.

Ready for you, 2022!

<3

all is not lost

image: The Brilliance

In December I listened to a Podcast that really challenged and inspired my thinking. I don't want to give it away, but simply, it's a tragic and beautiful story of a man who is a gay priest. I laughed, I cried, I thought about it for days. But one phrase at the very end has really stuck with me. I even wrote it on Facebook at the time: "Christ is born, all is not lost."

The context of that quote is this, "Where love is God is present; this is what we mean by the incarnation of Christ. And Jesus was born in a stable full of sh*t. So in the sh*t of our lives, God is there. Born in sh*t! In the thing itself! Not hovering above. Engaged! And that's what we mean by incarnation. Not just Jesus as the only begotten son of God...but as Paul says, the first born! Not the only born. The First born, so we are the second born and the third born...Christ is born, all is not lost."

ALL IS NOT LOST

Right now in our world it's so easy to feel the opposite of that phrase. If were honest, we know it's a chaotic mess. But because of Christ and what He's done for us, dying on the cross and rising to life so that in Him we can breath new life again, every day of our lives, all is not lost. And this is my hope, my joy and my peace. Christ is born, all is not lost.


Amen.

Into the Mirror

This.

The truest test of faith
And it all comes down to
This.

With angst we fought for love
We thought
How could this be?
Thousands have died a million deaths
And today we sit in disbelief

Because the wars that were fought in schools
and in homes
and in streets
Were fought so that WE could be free

From hate
From racism
From inequality

And yet it has come to This.

I believe the question rising is:
Did we ever love our enemies
one bit?

We disagree and bicker
Point fingers and think
THEY are the ones who have caused our Land of the Free
to be a land saturated in malice, deceit and hypocrisy

Yet
It is not our place to blame
It is not our place to blame

We must look into the mirror
We must rise above the hate

By Tiffany Oliveira

Written the week of the November 8th 2016

there will be time

What
a
weekend.

Sometimes God uses the circumstances of your life, and just pushes and pushes and pushes you to the point where you must change. You must grow. You must trust...in order to be left with any sanity at all. This sounds a bit dramatic, I know, and forceful. But wow, I don't think I've ever been asked to trust God more in my life than right now. He is gently asking in the midst of showing us His faithfulness. That His plan is what's best for us because He loves us and knows where He is leading us physically, emotionally, spiritually, relationally, geographically, vocationally, in every way. Only He knows the end. He sees the end of the road for us and gently guides us along the way, so that we can become those people that shine His light. All He asks is that we follow and trust Him. His plan, His purpose. His desires for our life. He has presented us with hurdles upon grace, again and again since our accident in April. And this, this song is the essence of my heart today, in this season of fighting for trust, peace and rest in the midst of failing and falling into doubt as a sinner saved by grace every single moment of every day.

Its all that I have to love and live for you it's all that I have, its all that I am.

"In the cold light, I live, I only live for you

It's all that I am, it's all that I have"

uma tarde na praia

If you read our New Years post, you may remember that this year one my goals for this blog is to share more memories. More than that, I want to share them in new creative ways. I want to challenge myself to think differently, write differently and express more of what God is doing in my soul. I want to invite Him in so that He flows out of me, and a new creation unfolds.

For the blog, some creative juices have been flowing as we make way for change. Like these blog post titles, some of them will now be in Portuguese. I just love the authenticity of writing in the language my parents first spoke to me; it's the language I learned to speak as a baby. And it really just makes me happy! So if you can't read Portuguese and you're wondering what these titles mean, google is the next best thing! Lately, I've just been inspired. To use my hands creating new things...I think some of that comes from watching Joy the movie (love you Jenn! Yes, we're on a first name basis) but mostly I miss/love expressing creativity and being artistic. This year I'm focusing less on screen time and more on real moments. For the blog that'll mean less photos per blog post = less time editing = less time on my phone =  more time in the present, and more posts (because I wont be spending so much time working on each blog post). I also won't be announcing every post I share because some will just be personal although not private. I'm excited and so ready to live more intentionally this year! Here's short a snippet of today:

Woke up - energized

Afternoon - grumpy

Late afternoon - happy

Evening - coffee 

p.s. working on a way to make the vertical images not pixelated when they post!

It's the little things.

showing off my brand new pink sweater from my favorite place (Anthro) and my favorite MIL (Denize)

Ended the day with one last favorite thing, THIS coffee. I feel like I'm always dreaming of honey latte's since having one of these. Today's was too sweet thanks to not having any sugar for a week (thanks Whole30...I mean 6?!) -_-

THANKFUL. BLESSED. IN HIM, ALL THINGS BY FAITH.

that sunset at carlsbad

I clearly remember the mood of this day: irritated, annoyed, depressed. I know, after looking through these photos you'd never tell, but on this day I just felt down. It was a Sunday in October, during a very hard few weeks for me overall. Maybe it was the crazy heat when I so craved changing colors and a chill in the air. Maybe the fact that I just felt SO unmotivated to do anything at all. There were days I'd wake up in the morning for about an hour and go right back to bed until I had to get ready for work, just because I would rather sleep than do anything else. Many days felt like a struggle as I tried to motivate myself to do more, get into a routine, just do something. 

This day was no different. It was another Sunday we slept in and missed church. I felt guilty and low. G was busy doing his school things, and I was left unsure of what to do at home; I didn't want to go out. The day lingered on when at about 4 p.m. G said, "lets go to the beach." Honestly, my first instinct was to say no, even to my favorite beach, the one we discovered spontaneously during our first few weeks in SD. But then I thought, why not go? It was in the 80's on the coast and the day was gorgeous. I didn't do my hair or put on makeup, just changed clothes. So off we went.

When we arrived, G sat still and I ran toward the ocean.

There's something healing about looking at something so much grander than you. So wild, dangerous, huge, so vast...and knowing who holds it together. I watched the water move; on this day it looked like the most beautiful dance. The way each wave would swirl into each other and crash. I had crashed, and I needed my Savior to catch me again. I needed to dance with Him again. To rest in His perfect peace. All I know is as the sun set, we healed. God was looking at our storm, and calming our ocean as we watched the sun disappear. By the end, we smiled, cuddled and felt alive again.

As I write this I realize how significant that night really was. This is grace, this is amazing Love.

in between tall buildings

After yet another trip to the best place on earth, otherwise known as IKEA, we ventured off into the city and felt like we were at home. On our walk downtown G said something that really encompassed how I've been feeling since leaving Chicago. He said, "You know babe, I'm with you. I feel at home in between tall buildings too." This, without me mentioning how much I missed the city life. Being able to walk outside into the busyness and commotion. Some people cringe at that, but us - we truly feel at home. Coincidentally and totally unplanned - we happened to talk by my dream apartment building I discovered wen we were still in Chicago searching for apartments in SD.

It's a historical landmark in San Diego - an old Church building restored to loft style apartments in the middle of the city. In person, it took my breath away. I looked at G and said one day we are living here babe! He's not totally convinced, but a girl can dream. One thing's for sure - we're both missing greatly. But at the same time, we're so thankful for the home God has given us, and know He is guiding our every step in this life even if it's not exactly what we want it to look like all the time.

Our gorgeous view every time we leave home.

I've written in a 5 year journal for four years already, answering the same rotation of questions every single day of the year. Today's question and answers kind of blew me away.

Question : East Coast or West Coast? In between?

2012 Answer: Grew up in the East Coast, always loved the West Coast - living in the Mid-West! And I love it! <3 Chicago.

2013 Answer: Right now, I'm just thinking about the South...would love to live in warm weather throughout the entire year. Maybe Lord? That's my desire, what's yours?

2014 Answer: It looks like we're heading towards the West Coast! Still waiting for Biola's (the school we thought G was going to) response to G and praying God leads us where He wants us to go. Excited for our next destination!

2015 Answer: Although the West Coast doesn't feel like home, it's been ours for over 5 months. Beaches, gorgeous. Weather, a dream. But somethings missing.

Trusting in You Lord.

eliminating "new"

This month has been been full of learning how to adjust to our current living situation as we are still with friends and just starting to earn paychecks again. Although we did not expect to be living with Elimar and Julia through the month of February, we can't image how we'd make it living in an apartment that we didn't love and was over our budget, which is what we've been finding. But now that we are earning some money and almost getting into the place we were hoping for all along, I see a glimmer of light! Things are moving along and it's really all in perfect time.

However, towards the end of January I was getting overwhelmed with the expenses that were heading our way and the money I was spending on myself, so I made a decision: I would not be buying anything new for myself all February long. I know, I know - for some people this is not hard or a big deal at all. But for me, I knew it would be very challenging. Fashion is something I love. It inspires me while also being a creative outlet that is really fun! In Chicago I would go store browsing every week. Then, I had the luxury of living 20 walking minutes or less from all of my favorite places, including Anthropologie, Madewell and Urban. You know, the good stores that make you somehow rationalize that you NEED a $150 dress that could pass for $30 at Forever 21. These days the stores aren't as close, which helps, but saying no to shopping is a tough one - especially during the sales! Well... one month later I am so glad to say I did it! 28 days have passed without buying anything new. Here's what I learned:

-- There's more clothes in my wardrobe that I don't wear than I thought! Seriously, I tend to put on the same clothes every week and have lot's that go untouched, even after giving away over half of my clothes before the move. Those pretty loafers pictured for example, I've owned them for three months, but before this challenge they were never worn. Totally forgot about them.

--  Spending no money on clothes, shoes and accessories means having more money for all the other exciting things you need! Like all the furniture there is to buy for our soon-to-be place. Or maybe it's a camera, or plane tickets - it could be anything.

-- What I have is enough. Though it almost never feels like enough, I have enough.

May we invest more in our people, and less in things.

resolution road

Some thoughts concerning resolutions have been skipping around in my head; year after year I have felt obligated to have some. In essence, have goals to try and accomplish in that year to move forward, to grow. I have always loved the idea of growing every year so I would become the person I was "supposed" to be. This burden was continually weighing on my mind : be better, live better, feel better. If I wasn't improving in life, well, that means I'm getting worse at it. And THAT was unacceptable. Regression was unacceptable to me, so I was in a constant state of frustration with myself. But my biggest problem was that everything that did not feel like growth was regression. Sitting, waiting, living in the tension meant something was wrong.

What lies I believed for so long. Thankfully, the past two years I have been learning that tension is the opposite of regression! Actually,  it is in the tension that growth especially occurs because you're forced to rely completely on Jesus to bring you to new life in areas that need growth. It's in the tension that God speaks directly to your soul, and you are in season to hear with open ears what He has to say. He is moving, transforming, and renewing you! He was renewing me, but I did not understand what was really happening during those times for many years. 

So thinking about resolutions this year, I feel pretty different about how to approach them than years past. Yes, I want to grow in all areas of my life, but now the pressures and burden I once felt has been lifted because I know that God is transforming my heart. I am asking and waiting for Him to show me where I need to change while trusting Him with my desires and goals. I love what I wrote last year on my post with a list of resolutions, "They may or may not all come to pass and for the first time I'm ok with that because I know and am choosing to believe that God goes before us this year."  High-fiving myself here because It's time to enjoy the ride! I will not beat myself up for not getting everything right, or not measuring up to others I admire. God is with me, he goes before me and in Him I rest. In Him I live. In Him, I am free! Free to mess up, learn and grow in His time. Free to travel on this resolution road.

One particular goal that never seems to leave my list of resolutions is getting fit and eating healthy. And I am sure you can relate! After the holidays I just feel heavier. I can't even tell you how many times I have called myself a whale the past three weeks! (I know..I know) But this year, mainly because we are in a MUCH warmer climate and school no longer takes up most of my time, I feel so motivated to get active and eat well. The desire is coming from within and not from me forcing any burdens on myself. So in these few photos I celebrate the start of a change captured on my first jog of 2015. It's the start of new life for this 24 year old body of mine.

What goals/resolutions/changes do you want to see happen this year?
As one wise Pinterest quote once said, "progress, not perfection."

First smoothie of the year! 

one cup of water

one mango

one large banana

one 5 oz. container of vanilla Greek yogurt (I use TJ's brand)

blend all ingredients till smooth

so long chicago

Soon, we say goodbye. As a farewell tribute to our days in Chicago, I feel so emotional about posting this small number of favorites (there are many more I love!) from our shoot with Fabz on the weekend of our 5 year anniversary together. I keep thinking, look at where we have come, thanks to Jesus and His faithfulness towards us. Really, without hoping and resting in Christ, I don't know where we'd be. These past few years have been HARD and AMAZING at the same time. So these photos are so special to us because they speak volumes of the beginning of our married life, growing & learning to love each other in a place that's been so cold & so warm, literally & figuratively, to us. 

Our first home. 

Captured are the places we  have loved and walked through hundreds of times. Captured, is joy and laughter but also intimacy, vulnerability, trust - commitment. I love this man more than ever! But it is not romance or an "easy" marriage that has cultivated more love. No, it is being together persevering in our struggles, and sharing life with a man who through so much has never let me go and has loved me so sweetly and sacrificially. I am so glad to share his last name forever, even though I really don't like olives at all. lol! Oh the irony! I love our little olive tree.

Oh, we have grown, and for this I am so thankful! So even in our tearful goodbye, the joy of the Lord is our strength. Always.

Captured: October 25th 2014

"Hatty" couple, for life.

you can't see it, but there's a "g" on my bracelet; it's my favorite.

I'm so going miss walking through Michigan Ave. every week on the way to work. 

I think the silly, laughing moments are just as precious as the vulnerable ones. I love him so much.

The weekend of the photo-shoot, lady bugs were everywhere in the city. It added the sweetest touch to our day.

This last photo encompasses so much of these past three and a half years living in Chi. 

Walking.

Hand in hand. 

Through traffic, snow, rain, heat, and wind. Embracing the car-less life head on (and loving it)

Walking.

To the movies, groceries, concerts, Sprinkles, parks, dinner, "daily dates."

Away from campus to our special spots around the city.

Walking.

Closer to each other, being confronted with the question, "will we trust God in this?"

Toward hope, even when we did not see, feel or believe He was present.

Walking.

Even on those blurry days, never letting go. Although tempted.

Believing that God is guiding each and every step. 

Although friends go one way, family another and our own desires in many different directions. 

You lead God. You have lead us. And we will continue to follow You.

We will trust and keep walking in you.

Excitedly! As we now walk 

into the sunshine.