life lately: quarantine

Hello friends!

Starting off with complete transparency - I started writing this post over a week ago, and haven't come around to stepping back into it until today because figuring out what I want to do in this quarantine has been a journey for me. Documenting this time, as well as many other seasons in our life is something I love doing but don't always share with the world because some things feel too personal and sacred. This time feels especially fragile and heavy as well as wondrous, challenging, joy filled and eye opening to say the least. Staying open and honest matters to me, so I want these posts to feel that way. Open, honest, full of joy, hope, sadness and fear. I am grateful for much and will share the good. Here's a glimpse into our days in quarantine...

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Recently, G and I decided to do an IG live where we answered a few questions from some of our favorite people. It was so much fun! Too much fun probably because I haven't laughed so much in a pretty long time. Probably since quarantine began, but more about that later. If you were there in real time, let me just go ahead and apologize on G's behalf for wanting to leave the convo before answering all the questions while asking for people to ask more questions. LOL! I'm still laughing at the thought of the whole thing and it was so good to interact with everyone who joined. I think we'll definitely do it again!

On the live, we had some interest in blog posts so I voiced the idea of doing a photo a day post since quarantine began for us. This week starts week 5, and boy has it been a journey of emotions, perspective checks, anxiety, fear, disbelief, sadness and a whole lot more. One thing is for sure, in all the unknown and frustration with how the situation is being handled politically - we have hope. Our hope in all this really is in Jesus because He is good and promises to be with us always. This time to slow down (for most of us) gives us the opportunity to settle, hear his voice and feel his presence with us at all times. Not just at church but in our homes, and more importantly, within us.

I'll be honest and I say I haven't been as intentional with reading the bible and having a devotional since this change of pace started. It really hit me this past week that this is our new normal for a while, so we might as well take advantage of it in any way we can and use our time wisely by doing things that fill our souls. That looks different for everyone, and my hope is that if you haven't been thinking of this lately, that you do and answer some questions like: what do I want to take out of this time? what steps can I take to be intentional with the things I want to do or accomplish? Who do I want to be right now? How can I purposely rest? How will I take care of my body, mind and soul? What habits do I need to stop and which can I start to be closer to the person I want to be? Who can I bless today?

If any of these questions resonate with you, I hope you'll answer them truthfully, but also give yourself grace in this season.

I've been photographing moments of our day since things started shutting down in Miami Beach. So, here is a photo (or photos) a day in quarantine. If there's anything we can do to help you, you know where to find us! IG: tiffanyolives

2020 - you came for us, but God is with us

SAT, MARCH 14TH 

I took this weekend off to celebrate G's bday, but things changed when we started getting notified of the dangers of Covid in the US. The city was still operating as usual, but stores and restaurants were beginning to close. We headed to the beach for some relaxation not knowing the next few weeks would bring. 

I remember feeling calm that evening and wanting to be outside as much as possible, so I made a cup of coffee and watched the sunset from our front porch. A few hours later, I got the news. All stores company-wide would be shutting down until March 28th due to the virus.

SUN, MARCH 15TH

We woke up determined to celebrate G the best way we knew how in this situation, off again to the beach. We stayed a safe distance away from people, but the beach was full. Spring Breakers were still in town without a care in the world, and covid talk was buzzing. 

I remember walking down Lincoln Rd. while heading to the beach and thinking how shocking it was to see empty tables on a Sunday at most restaurants.

distancing, before it became a rule

this was also the first Sunday Vous did church online as a precaution, before the State made it mandatory to do so. So thankful for their leadership on this

MON, MARCH 16TH

After a Trader Joes run in the morning, I walked around our neighborhood and down to my favorite coffee shop, XO, to say hi to the girls and get a sense of what was going on. All restaurants were closed, tables and chairs put away. I went by work to see the sign at the door and sat outside for a while listening to Brene Brown and processing what was happening...

^ This was the last day the patio set was out - very few people around already ^

TUES, MARCH 17TH

Started to feel a little stir crazy, already!! Did a lot of reading and time outside on the porch. Our evening walk by the water felt special, and empty shelves at TJ and parking lots and on our street, surreal. Watching Coldplays #togetherathome was special too...

WED, MARCH 18TH

I remember waking up feeling good and wanting to venture to our usual spots, so I picked up some Rosetta for brunch, not knowing it would close the very next day. This day was full of lasts. It was also the last day the beach would be open until further notice. We had no idea, but I am so thankful we decided to walk all the way down to South Point on the beach (the end of Miami Beach) and back home. It would be our last day doing that for a long time..crazy!

^And that right there is the reason they closed the beach as early as they did (with good reason) ^

^ We saw about 2 dozen people on the boat while this cruise was leaving ^

THURS, MARCH 19TH

This was a sad walk! To see the beaches empty and these signs everywhere was an end of the world type feeling.

The next few photos have no dates. Just different moments from quarantine life, lately...

^ solution to no beach ^

Follow along on Instagram @tiffanyolives

first family photos in Miami!

In May of 2019 we had the pleasure of being photographed by our dear friend Fabz at fabianephotography when her and Merc came to town for a few days! Every time Fabz takes photos for us it's special because she's been there from the very the beginning of our relationship. From the friendship years, to taking our save the date photos, to photographing us in our first home in Chicago and now in the third city we've called home. It's been quite an adventure! Every shoot came in a different season, and this one was no less significant in it's own unique way. 

(by the way, this is gonna get heavy...)

When we took these last year, we were living through a really unexpected difficult time. I didn't realize it then, but I was struggling with feelings of depression for a while, and all I knew was I didn't feel like myself and felt sad most of the time. At that point I was just trying to push through. I mean, we were still new to Miami, had gotten visitors from home every few weeks since we moved, and to my surprise really loved our new home already! I wasn't home sick, so my understanding of why I felt sad and heavy was little to none. What did I do with all this, you might be wondering? I kept the feelings to myself, sure they would soon go away. And I was wrong - SO wrong. At the shoot, I really felt different and at a loss. I kept thinking, "Why don't I feel happier right now? What's wrong with me? What am I supposed to do?" It was heart breaking; I felt embarrassed and stuck. 

Fast forward 6 months to when I saw the photos for the first time, overwhelmed with emotion I cried! I saw something I didn't feel at the time because I was so caught up in my mind. In these photos, I saw steady, unwavering love. This may not be mind blowing to you, but when I say I could not feel or see much besides the sadness in me, and then to see physical proof that there was more to the story, THIS is glory. This is grace! I see happiness, laughter, fun, connection, presence and beauty all around us. There is so much more to the darkness, so much more to the pain. There is God, He is present, holding us through it all.  There is unconditional love I couldn't feel at the time, but was there all along. I knew it in my mind, and I fought for joy most days, but the truth is hard to see when you are constantly bombard with lies. It's completely overwhelming, and if you've experienced anything like this I'm sure you know what I mean. But the truth is there and the truth WILL set you free; the truth is very clear: In your deepest darkness is always the presence Light. For my 26th birthday I tattooed the phrase "He is my light" on  the back of my arm because it's a truth that God has shown me over and over again, not only through His presence but also through the people around me.  

Maybe you are the light right now in someones dark pain. Or maybe you are in the dark. 

Wherever you find yourself this January, remind yourself that you are loved, you are valued and you make a difference in this world. In your sadness, there can be joy. Both gratitude and pain, love and sorrow, strength and weakness...these can all live together in the same space at the same time. 

I'm SO grateful to my husband G, my family and closest friends for being the face of Jesus in my life. Sharing what I was feeling with a few close people I trusted is what helped me. It helped me gain perspective, get out of my own head, and feel loved and cared for during that time. I prayed and listened to encouraging sermons constantly, but it was trusting people enough to open my heart in my deep struggle that really set me free. Jesus uses people! He uses us in the lives of others to do things greater than He did, remember? He said we would himself, with His Holy Spirit living in us. But I caution you to choose those people wisely. Choose people who've earned your trust, have your back and who love you no matter what. I'm so grateful for those people. I'm so grateful for breakthrough and no longer being depressed! Thank you Jesus! And I'm so grateful for these images. 

Fabz, I am so thankful for YOU girl, for your friendship and your art! I'll cherish these forever.

Go ahead and check her out on IG @fabianephotography + at her blog fabianephotography.com and hire her immediately! You wont regret it <3

A few of my favorite images with a message I think the shines through: you are not alone.

Weeping may last for a night but joy comes in the morning

If you are suffering, know that your morning is coming - feel free to reach out if you need support. 

You are not alone

 Psalm 34:18

*My jumpsuit inspired by Mara Hoffman found HERE