portraits in words: "Rio"

Way back when in Rio

It was 2014
My younger newly married self, was terrified to book this trip
There was never enough money

We were just college students
And you know how it is

But G was too excited!
He finally got his green card
just months before
and was ready to explore, his homeland
And show his wife of 3 years
Everything
Everyone
And more

This was one beach
One afternoon, with family
We ate picanah on the sand
brought to us fresh
Of course!
By a joyful, friendly and beautiful middle aged man
Of course!

And we laughed!
We laughed so hard we cried
And we swam
But not too much —
The waves, too strong for us
The ocean, so loud it rung
The people, paragliding off the mountain above us

It was everything and more
And you know how it is

The best most sweet memories of all
Are worth more than all the money this earth can store
And there I was
standing with my husband, of just 3 years
Full of gratitude and love
And in that moment, I learned
That the greatest currency of all
Is Love

It always goes back to Love

“Rio”
Taken on an IPhone (4?)

. . . . . . . . . . 

I'm excited to start a new series on the blog of some of my poetry! Sometimes it comes by looking at an image, and wanting to tell a story from it, like the one above. But other times it's triggered by an exiting new season or something deeply sad. I process and express my heart in words. So here I am sharing the process with you. Here's to more vulnerability, and learning along the way. You are loved.

This new series will be called, portraits in words

follow along on Instagram!

@tiffanyolives

life lately: quarantine

Hello friends!

Starting off with complete transparency - I started writing this post over a week ago, and haven't come around to stepping back into it until today because figuring out what I want to do in this quarantine has been a journey for me. Documenting this time, as well as many other seasons in our life is something I love doing but don't always share with the world because some things feel too personal and sacred. This time feels especially fragile and heavy as well as wondrous, challenging, joy filled and eye opening to say the least. Staying open and honest matters to me, so I want these posts to feel that way. Open, honest, full of joy, hope, sadness and fear. I am grateful for much and will share the good. Here's a glimpse into our days in quarantine...

. . . . . . . . . . .

Recently, G and I decided to do an IG live where we answered a few questions from some of our favorite people. It was so much fun! Too much fun probably because I haven't laughed so much in a pretty long time. Probably since quarantine began, but more about that later. If you were there in real time, let me just go ahead and apologize on G's behalf for wanting to leave the convo before answering all the questions while asking for people to ask more questions. LOL! I'm still laughing at the thought of the whole thing and it was so good to interact with everyone who joined. I think we'll definitely do it again!

On the live, we had some interest in blog posts so I voiced the idea of doing a photo a day post since quarantine began for us. This week starts week 5, and boy has it been a journey of emotions, perspective checks, anxiety, fear, disbelief, sadness and a whole lot more. One thing is for sure, in all the unknown and frustration with how the situation is being handled politically - we have hope. Our hope in all this really is in Jesus because He is good and promises to be with us always. This time to slow down (for most of us) gives us the opportunity to settle, hear his voice and feel his presence with us at all times. Not just at church but in our homes, and more importantly, within us.

I'll be honest and I say I haven't been as intentional with reading the bible and having a devotional since this change of pace started. It really hit me this past week that this is our new normal for a while, so we might as well take advantage of it in any way we can and use our time wisely by doing things that fill our souls. That looks different for everyone, and my hope is that if you haven't been thinking of this lately, that you do and answer some questions like: what do I want to take out of this time? what steps can I take to be intentional with the things I want to do or accomplish? Who do I want to be right now? How can I purposely rest? How will I take care of my body, mind and soul? What habits do I need to stop and which can I start to be closer to the person I want to be? Who can I bless today?

If any of these questions resonate with you, I hope you'll answer them truthfully, but also give yourself grace in this season.

I've been photographing moments of our day since things started shutting down in Miami Beach. So, here is a photo (or photos) a day in quarantine. If there's anything we can do to help you, you know where to find us! IG: tiffanyolives

2020 - you came for us, but God is with us

SAT, MARCH 14TH 

I took this weekend off to celebrate G's bday, but things changed when we started getting notified of the dangers of Covid in the US. The city was still operating as usual, but stores and restaurants were beginning to close. We headed to the beach for some relaxation not knowing the next few weeks would bring. 

I remember feeling calm that evening and wanting to be outside as much as possible, so I made a cup of coffee and watched the sunset from our front porch. A few hours later, I got the news. All stores company-wide would be shutting down until March 28th due to the virus.

SUN, MARCH 15TH

We woke up determined to celebrate G the best way we knew how in this situation, off again to the beach. We stayed a safe distance away from people, but the beach was full. Spring Breakers were still in town without a care in the world, and covid talk was buzzing. 

I remember walking down Lincoln Rd. while heading to the beach and thinking how shocking it was to see empty tables on a Sunday at most restaurants.

distancing, before it became a rule

this was also the first Sunday Vous did church online as a precaution, before the State made it mandatory to do so. So thankful for their leadership on this

MON, MARCH 16TH

After a Trader Joes run in the morning, I walked around our neighborhood and down to my favorite coffee shop, XO, to say hi to the girls and get a sense of what was going on. All restaurants were closed, tables and chairs put away. I went by work to see the sign at the door and sat outside for a while listening to Brene Brown and processing what was happening...

^ This was the last day the patio set was out - very few people around already ^

TUES, MARCH 17TH

Started to feel a little stir crazy, already!! Did a lot of reading and time outside on the porch. Our evening walk by the water felt special, and empty shelves at TJ and parking lots and on our street, surreal. Watching Coldplays #togetherathome was special too...

WED, MARCH 18TH

I remember waking up feeling good and wanting to venture to our usual spots, so I picked up some Rosetta for brunch, not knowing it would close the very next day. This day was full of lasts. It was also the last day the beach would be open until further notice. We had no idea, but I am so thankful we decided to walk all the way down to South Point on the beach (the end of Miami Beach) and back home. It would be our last day doing that for a long time..crazy!

^And that right there is the reason they closed the beach as early as they did (with good reason) ^

^ We saw about 2 dozen people on the boat while this cruise was leaving ^

THURS, MARCH 19TH

This was a sad walk! To see the beaches empty and these signs everywhere was an end of the world type feeling.

The next few photos have no dates. Just different moments from quarantine life, lately...

^ solution to no beach ^

Follow along on Instagram @tiffanyolives

words from the wiser: intimacy in marriage

Lately, God has been opening my eyes.

Spiritually and internally opening my eyes to the truths of life. Its a season of change, and dare I say, growth I've been praying for for a long time. Interestingly, I've been working on this post for a few weeks now, and this weekend fall has officially begun, the ultimate season of change, and it's this weekend that this post is finally done. Not a coincidence, Lord Jesus, you are GOOD.

Normally, I would keep this good news to myself. Afraid that saying it out load, or putting it on paper would jinx whats happening inside. But I refuse to let fear rule over my life any longer! I'm saying, "Fear, get the freak away from me! I'm moving into the light." This is a daily practice, and some days are better than others, but by the grace of God my mindset changing, and that is allowing me to see myself and others more graciously as we fight the good fight and run the race. 

Side note: please, PLEASE don't compare your life to the pictures I post on the blog. 

I know, it's kind of inevitable in one sense., and sometimes I do it too. 

But, what I mean is, please don't feel bad about your relationships, your struggles, your LIFE, 

by looking at images. 

These memories are some of the best moments of our life, the crème de la crème. 

The things I don't wanna forget, 

so when I'm having the hardest day or feel so discouraged I don't want to get out of bed 

(Yes, I have those days) I can look back and remember the blessings and feel grateful again. 

I think we all need those reminders sometimes. 

Although I always try to be transparent about the realities of marriage and faith and life, 

often when we're feeling vulnerable or down we cant help but compare. 

On that note, I''ll leave you with this: 

Darling, a beautiful thing is never perfect.

I saved this quote I saw on Instagram as a reminder to myself, that often times the beautiful things I see looking at others are a result of work. And often, lots of hard work that goes unseen. I can't think of a better transition to the topic of this NEW (its been a while!) words from the wiser post about intimacy.

Here's something that not many married couples talk about: struggling with sex. 

Oh yes, I went there. Sex is a delicate subject, a beautiful act and a life-changing experience. However, many make light of it. One night stands are common, and having sex on the third date, or any date before the one you say, "I do" has become normal. What saddens me is this: people have no idea of the trauma they are causing to their souls by living this way. There's a reason why God says it's not good for man to be alone. But the Bible also says, "...man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." Eph. 5:31 God designed sex to be enjoyed in a bond only shared between a husband and wife. But what if you saved yourself for marriage, or understand the depths of what it means, and still sex is shameful, disappointing or is just non existent? Author and relationship expert Tracy McMillan says this: Relationships are a spiritual path. I couldn't agree more. Relationships are not linear, and neither is sex. Sex is spiritual, as well as emotional and physical. That's what makes it so complex, difficult at times and blissful in others. 

Aaron and Jennifer Smith (from Unveiled Wife) are a Christian couple who love Jesus, have a lot to say about this in their video titled, "Our Personal Struggle with Intimacy in Marriage" If you relate to struggling with sex and intimacy in your life, I'd encourage you to watch this video. It is honest, informational and encouraging. 

G and I have sure had our fair share of struggles with sex and intimacy in our marriage, which is one reason I wanted to share on this topic. But let me tell you something true: healing is possible! I don't say this from a place of perfection, or having reached an ideal place in life, but I do say it from a place of working hard through struggle again and again, with a lot of prayer and counsel, which I want more of! On the outside, we all look pretty put together, but no one ever really knows what's going on within a marriage, or a life from the outside. So lets be kind to ourselves, and to one another! Jesus loves us, and gives us freedom to work through our pain with Him on our side, and this is how healing happens. In the light, and not in hiding. In relationship, and not alone.

I hope you enjoyed this post and watch this video!  Even if just one person is encouraged by it and that person is you, know that you are not alone. If you'd like more content on this subject, or if you have any suggestions for future posts, please share in the comments and let me know!

with love always, 

Tiffany Olives

The Smiths YouTube Channel: Marriage After God

Featured photos by Fabiane Pavezzi at FabianePhotography

an NYC anniversary

Seven Years

 It's a little surreal when you look at your spouse and realize, we've been married for 7 years babe.! How did that happen?! When did all this time pass?! You hear it all your life, that time just flies. But when you're living it, man is it fast.

Seven Years Married

We've been through the highs and the lows, the late night arguments and hard belly laughs; the answered prayers, miracles witnessed, and faith tested. We loved each other though the mistakes and hurt feelings, and choose each other when we couldn't keep our hands off the other, and also when the best we could do was look the other way and not talk for days. There were tears, many many tears, the good and the bad kind. And lot of celebrating! We love to celebrate, usually with donuts or tacos (quesadillas for G) or late night walks or beach days with friends. And we believed; we believed that what God put together, none can separate! We believed in the unconditional love of Christ for us, and that it's our call to love in the same way. We're doing the work and we're here, still hand in hand, on the same team, and that's definitely worth cheering about!

Seven Years Married + Celebrating

It was Gs turn to take over and plan something special this year. We're doing a new thing where we take turns surprising the other person, mostly so we don't go through the "you didn't plan anything for our anniversary?!" conversation which has happened more than once. (any other marrieds relate?! yes! great!) Last year it just so happened that I planned a weekend in Rosarito, Mexico for us and it was awesome and never blogged, oops! So, this year, G blew me away with a weekend in the city!

Seven Years Married + Celebrating in NYC

One of  our favorite places in the world, where we spent countless hours as friends, got engaged overlooking this skyline and shared so many more memories here. We love the city so much. I'll be honest, things weren't all roses and rainbows for me on that day though, if that's how the saying goes. I had a mix of emotions I was having a hard time sorting through, and felt bad for not being more excited in the moment. But, I'm so grateful for my husband. I never want to forget G's kindness and patience towards me. Because of it, we were able to have so much fun and enjoy what felt like living in New York City. Never underestimate the power of kindness.

And this is why I love photography: capturing the moments you never wanna forget, lest they slip away.

This was the little restaurant G took me on our first date as friends! He planned for us to have dinner here, but unlike what google said, it was closed last year! I guess our marriage outlasted this place. Haha! We made the best of it with a photo, and found another Spanish restaurant in the Village nearby for some seafood paella. YUM

Thanks to the lady who took this non selfie photo of us!

Day 2 in the city

Bryant Park - our hotel was a few blocks from here, one of my favorite places

savory dinner in the Village

and this play - so good! 

All a capella, only 10 actors, telling a real story about racism, courage and hope. 

If you want to learn about the Little Rock Nine, a group of African American high school students who challenged segregation in the south during the 1950's, click HERE